Why I Didn't Gather with My Church Family Tonight

I spent the better part of 30 years of my life "going to church." That's just what we did. Every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night, we were "at the church" doing whatever it was that the preacher had scheduled for us to do. Most of the time I didn't mind it. There were occasions when I didn't want to "go" but mostly I wanted to and liked it. 

When Father began dealing with me in a new way a few years ago in how I look at "church," a new paradigm began to emerge. Sure, I knew in my mind that the PEOPLE are the church and that it was impossible to "GO" to church. But my life and my actions belied that fact. After all these years, Father has finally branded the true definition of church not only in my mind, but also my heart. I know both in my mind and I display in my actions that I am the church--me and my family and all others who call on Jesus alone for life and salvation. We together realize and know that church is about living life together as the family of Jesus and not simply a matter of having weekly gatherings.

A problem has emerged in this new freedom, though. My church family and I all know the truth about what church really is and we have all been freed from the oppression of religious performance and obligation. While we are light years away from the mindless programing mentality that a lot of churches live with, we have found ourselves in the habit of getting together most Sunday evenings for dinner, Communion, and whatever else we feel Father is leading us into. I thoroughly enjoy these times with my church family. Dinner is great, Communion is sweet, and the times of prayer, praise, teaching, etc. is wonderful. I miss it when we do not get together for whatever reason. Although my wife and I understand that these weekly regular gatherings are not "church" and they are not absolutely necessary for our growth as followers of Jesus, our kids cannot make that distinction in their young minds.

You see, habitual practices in the minds of children often become "law" and cannot be deviated from. Any parent or elementary school teacher will tell you that kids are the first to squawk when routines are broken. They like sameness. If we as parents do not teach our kids with our actions as well as our words, they will not know the truth about what church really is. My kids--who are 6 & 8--know that the church is the people. They will tell that to anyone who asks. However, because our church family gets together almost every single Sunday evening, my kids are beginning to disengage what we SAY to them about the church from their experience of it. To them, their experience of church has become a regular Sunday evening gathering. They know better in their minds, but they cannot betray their actions. 

So this has led my kids to expect us to get together with our church family every Sunday night. It is to the point that they think we are SUPPOSED to gather with the church family every Sunday night. It is my job as a parent to make sure that my kids are raised with a proper theology of church (among other things) and I will not be responsible for making my kids think that gathering with the church family on Sunday evenings at 4:00 PM is "law." Therefore, this is why Kristie and I decided to stay at home today. I missed meeting with my friends. I missed the time of fellowship and prayer and singing. I truly did. But for my kids' sake, I am glad we missed it. I want to teach them that church is more than a regular weekly gathering. I pray my church family understands what I am trying to do.

Simply,

Jason